![]() He enters the race with a significant legislative record but low approval ratings, a conundrum his advisers have so far been unable to solve. That’s why I’m running for reelection.”īiden’s official declaration ends any lingering doubts about his intentions, and begins a contest that could evolve into a rematch with his 2020 rival, former President Donald Trump. “I know what I want the answer to be and I think you do too. More rights or fewer,” Biden says in voiceover narration. “The question we are facing is whether in the years ahead we have more freedom or less freedom. And we still are,” he said in the video, which opened with images of the January 6, 2021, insurrection and abortion rights activists protesting at the US Supreme Court. “When I ran for president four years ago, I said we are in a battle for the soul of America. In a video released early Tuesday, Biden framed next year’s contest as a fight against Republican extremism, implicitly arguing he needed more time to fully realize his vow to restore the nation’s character. (Photo by Nathan Howard/Getty Images) Nathan Howard/Getty Images Biden spoke on his plans to expand the economy and addressed Republican leadership's approach to raising the debt ceiling later this year. I've had my share of spills.'"Ĭheck out The Onion's entire Biden repertoire here.ACCOKEEK, MD - APRIL 19: President Joe Biden delivers remarks on the economy at an International Union of Operating Engineers Local 77 union training facility on Apin Accokeek, Maryland. 'If I grease the landing and ragdoll across the Constitution Gardens, so be it. " Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial"Ĭhoice quote: "'There's no better way to pay homage to our fallen brothers than by letting it rip, hitting that ramp at full fucking blast, and flying through the sky high above the Vietnam Memorial,' said Biden, noting that he also plans to execute a midair salute by placing his fingers around his mouth in a V shape and rapidly flicking his tongue. I just need to ride things out until the dust settles.'"Ħ. 'Plus, Raúl owes me big time, so he's letting me crash on his couch until I can figure out an angle on this. " Biden To Cool His Heels In Mexico For A While"Ĭhoice quote: "'Things got pretty hairy there for a minute, but I been through rougher shit than this by a mile,' said Biden, whose voice suddenly dropped to a whisper as he glanced over his shoulder at passing cantina-goers. 'Man I love just getting out here, throwing a thumb into the wind, and seeing who has the cojones to pull over,' said the vice president, flashing a disarming smile."ĥ. " Joe Biden Hitchhikes To Democratic National Convention"Ĭhoice quote: "According to highway sources, Biden, an avid hitcher throughout his 39-year political career, could be seen throughout much of the day perched on the southbound shoulder of I-85, wearing a Marlboro windbreaker and aviator sunglasses as he waved a handwritten cardboard 'Goin' My Way?' sign. ' White House aides said that Biden pulled into the driveway shortly before noon, the chorus of Night Ranger's '(You Can Still) Rock In America' blaring from his car's stereo."Ĥ. 'Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I'm cruising down Pennsylvania. ![]() 'This baby just needs a little scrub down,' said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. " Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway"Ĭhoice quote: "Taking advantage of the warm spring weather Monday, Vice President Joe Biden parked his 1981 Trans Am in the White House driveway, removed his undershirt, and spent a leisurely afternoon washing the muscle car and drinking beer. Choice quote: "Dressed in a slightly ripped Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt, Biden tapped the top of an Icehouse tallboy, cracked it open, and then informed the 20,000 people in attendance that while the economy is no longer hemorrhaging jobs as it was in 2008, nothing, 'not even that little trip I took to Thailand in '92,' could ever live up to the unforgettable months of June through August 1987, when 'the skirts were short, the brews were cold, and you couldn't walk 2 feet without stepping into some grade-A tang.'"ģ.
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